“GROW UP”

Every now and then, you’ll get told to “grow up” or act your age. But what does this even mean?

I was talking to someone about my dislike of heels. I’m not good at walking in them and have no desire for them, particularly, mainly wearing trainers (or brogues/loafers in a professional setting). I was told that I should “grow up” and, at some point, get used to wearing them.

Let’s put aside the obvious issues in expectations levelled at women and their role and appearance in the workplace. The point here is about being told to “grow up” and act like an adult who is able to carry herself in such a setting.

My instant opinion to this statement was no - I don’t want to “grow up” if this is what growing up looks like. I think this perfectly describes what I feel about the premise of getting older. It’s the addition of all these expectations and how you must be at certain milestones in your life.

Of course, this is not a surface-level situation - growing up comes with inevitabilities such as entering the workforce, paying taxes, and learning how to be a professional person. But it doesn’t mean that you have to undergo a personality transplant and dress and act in a way so foreign to yourself. Being X age doesn’t mean I suddenly have to wear heels and a tailored midi dress in order to be taken seriously.

In fact, one of the biggest lessons I have learned in growing older is the value of freedom and choice. The power to conduct yourself and express your views is so important. And I find myself analysing my place and what I want out of the situations I find myself in.

Being older doesn’t mean we have to let go of things we liked when we were younger. That applies not only to clothes but interests, like TV shows, music, and sports, and funky socks. My friends think it’s funny that I like to coordinate my socks. I don’t see why this should be confined to being 11-16; if I like colourful socks, I will wear them.

I think growing up consequently sounds so scary because it seems to come with rigid expectations and a detached, cold persona alien to your own. But I’m determined to keep the elements of my personality I love at this age, and every age I want to.

I get to decide when I want to give up funky socks, if ever. And if I want to wear heels in the workplace, I will. But for now, I’ll stick to what I like and am comfortable with, so I can do the best job possible whilst staying true to myself.

The author, on a carousel in Piccadilly Gardens, pictured in 2025

*Photo belongs to the author, all rights reserved

#growingup #growup #age #workplace #expectations