Expectations

Jun 20

2 min read

Recently, there must have been a shortage of medication in the UK. Because why else are people attempting to use me as Plan B?

I’m sure everyone knows the feeling. You have plans that you’ve taken effort and time to plan, wait all week for them, change your hair routine, change your contacts routine - and you wake up on Saturday morning to see them cancelled. Well, not cancelled, but how can the plans go ahead when people drop out one by one?

And suddenly, it’s like the big event you were waiting for is finished. How easy it is for others to mindlessly cancel what for you was the reason to make it to the end of the week.

You see, Olivia Rodrigo was right. These days I’ve got expectations - not just in romance but in my wider circle. I’m not ok with being Plan B, being the organiser who is left behind, being someone who can be treated as disposable without a care about the impact on me.

If you hadn’t guessed by now - this isn’t about one event, but patterns of behaviour indicating a reduced effort to make time. So why can’t people be clear and communicate this? Whilst it may be hurtful in the short-term, isn’t it best to know where everyone stands? To be clear about what we want to put into our relationships? To ensure that there aren’t crossed wires?

Historically, I’ve been hesitant to say something so people don’t get hurt. But I have been hurting. So why not communicate that? I’m done with protecting the feelings of people who forgot I existed, until it suited them to remember.

If the relationships end because of me calling out what has been happening, the truth, then good. Because it would mean that I was wasting time pouring effort into cups that were ignored. If the relationships continue, and effort is reciprocated, then again, it’s good I said something so that things would improve.

Today, I decided to still do something for me. I went to a new coffee shop, and read my book in the fresh air, with the hustle and bustle of Manchester.

Because my life should not end when people cancel on me. I am here for me, as my bigger supporter.