Saviour or Slave?
- Oct 29, 2025
- 2 min read
How much help is too much help?
I would like to say that I am the kind of person who helps people. Of course, I am not alone in this; it is a key part of being human. We strive to impact people’s lives positively because we want to be of use, to be valuable, and because it makes us feel good when we are there for others. But at what point is it too much?
When I say too much, I mean overextending yourself, so you end up causing more harm to yourself rather than assistance to others. Helping others is something I regard as very important, but it is easy for this to sour very quickly.
You can help others and be regarded as their Saviour, because you’re helping them when they need it most. At the same time, your repeated actions may cause you to become a Slave because you then fall into a consistent cycle of helping the same people without any gratitude or recognition, but with expectation. That said, I am not equating the offer of assistance with a reward but rather a token of appreciation. Even this token - doing a favour for a friend is discretionary, and nobody minds it. But if you are put in a position where you constantly allow others to ask for help or favours and they expect it, you become less of a Saviour and more of a Slave. Suddenly, it is no longer discretionary but mandatory because you have a pattern of helping, and one more occasion shouldn’t make any difference.
My issue here is - by being someone who wants to help others and enjoys doing so, it is hard to then set boundaries in place. You become more susceptible to being a doormat for people to treat you as they wish, because you’ll always be on standby waiting to offer your help.
Saviour or Slave? Both are exaggerations, but both can be realistic. One cannot exist without the other, because to be the Saviour, an element of you must be ready to be the Slave, and vice versa.
We need more kind people in the world who are willing to help others. I believe that firmly. But I also believe that we should not take people’s kindness for granted—especially those we class as friends.
*Photo is owned by author, all rights are reserved
Another good read as always! It is something I never really thought about too deeply because the people-pleaser in me loves the idea of helping and being selfless. However, I can definitely see the detrimental effect on myself when I help but don't help myself. I guess the question I would have for myself, is how the boundary in assisting too much without much appreciation can be set? And how to identify the line where it crosses over to being too much of a slave rather than a saviour?